This is my inaugural entry for this blog and I'm writing it now - in part - to prove to my friend Ryan that I'm keeping my word. The idea for the title of this blog came to me a week or so ago while he and I were iChatting one another. The string of words just seemed to come out of nowhere. I don't recall that I was actively, consciously thinking about any of my mostly married friends, so I'm uncertain what gave birth to the idea. However, I'm going to run with it.
First of all, here's a little about me: I've always wanted a career and my ambition and goals are more akin to a vocation than a job. Yet, throughout my childhood and adolescence, I also envisioned myself meeting someone special around the same age as my parents were when they met (21/22), falling in love and having a family...and a career. In fact, when I was a high school sophomore, my English teacher gave us a writing assignment that thrilled me: write an essay describing your life 15 years from now - at age 30. Well, I can pretty much promise you that my life is not looking even a tad like that essay.
To sum up my romantic life: I've been in like, lust and, yes, I even think love once or twice. But, at press, it's just never panned out for me. He's never turned out to be the guy...yet. I've been hurt, I've hurt someone else. I've had my heart broken, my dreams dashed, you name it, I've felt it. And, more often than not he's just not been the right one for me.
All of this pain and pleasure; the rush and the inevitable boredom, the fantasy and reality...Well, it's left me exhausted. And, it's little wonder! I've been through all the stages: I began believing in love at first sight and destiny, became a surface cynic, stopped believing in soul mates and now I feel I may be coming full circle. I don't know how it will happen, but I do have an idea that it's a combination of all of those things. Maybe, just maybe, I'll meet him and from the beginning I'll be a bit smitten, but I believe love is always something that is grown, cultivated and which develops over time. After all, intense "feelings", including the initial rush of emotion must be coupled with many other things and mature over time in order to transcend mere infatuation and become the often elusive "love".
Even when we meet someone who has potential, we must assess who this person is and what exactly it is that we feel; moreover, why we feel the way we do. After all, a person has to protect herself/himself and look out for her/his best interest. Lastly, after you know you're onto something good, that's when you say, "Maybe this is my soul mate? At least for this time in my life."
I don't know if I believe in soul mates in a traditional, romantic way. I'm beginning to believe that we meet different people: some become friends, other lovers and they are your soul mates. For me, my lovely girlfriends, my great guy friends, my amazing brother and my devoted parents, whom I adore, are all my soul mates. And, one day a great guy will be my soul mate for as long as life and time allows us to be together. That's what I believe.
I think the most important thing I have learned by being a single adult is that you cannot rely on another person to fulfill you, complete you or rescue you from your life. And, this is one reason I feel compelled to write this blog.
Secondly, I am writing to single people who find themselves struggling with being a single among marrieds, couples, etc. If you are like me and have MANY married or virtually married friends, then I am writing for you.
Finally, I am writing to married people, or anyone in a relationship who has a friend who is single. There are things you should not do and you need to know what they are. But most importantly, you can be friends with single people. You do still have things in common!
So stay tuned....
